The Other Reality...

I've just finished talking to Luke

i dont mind saying his name cause i know he doesnt mind having it said

and i talked to him about the dream i had last night

because this dream was quite possibly the most epic

and real feeling dream i've ever had ever

when i awoke i was in a total state of terror and excitement

and my heart was beating really fast

i dont want to have to retype it all

so i'll just copy what i wrote to luke

bare in mind that this was directed at him

so do not be confused by the context of the writing

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Well i'd love to stay and chat but.. you're a total bitch says:

i have to tell you about the dream i had last night

it was the most realistic, visually and sensorally fantastic dream i've ever had

and it had everything thought out

see i was 20

and i was in an international school in iran

cause by then iran and palistine arent in war anymore

(or so they say)

and a massive and very expensive school was built in iran

a few hundred meters off the border of palistine

and eveyones having fun and enjoying this fantastic facility

that is world renowned

and for some reason u and amy and siv are there

we're in the outer yard on campus

to our right is the massive main building

and to the left are dorms and a massive church

and a siren goes off

and everyone panics

cause we dont even know what it is

but u see a large light object i nthe sky

and it comes towards us

hit the ground about 20 meters away and theres a hughe explosion

it was an artillery shell

and the girls freak out

and we get bombarded

everywhere

bomb goin on

and i know i was terrified

it seemed so real

and another comes straight at us

and u and i dive backwards

but the girls are hit

and decintegrated

but trheres no time to mourne

cause more are coming

and we fucking run

towards the church side

and its like playing black ops

and its a cutscene

your just running while bombs are goin off

and the camera turns

to show u a massive rocket hitting the main building

and shit like that

and we run

to the nearby neighbourhood

and people have abandonened their houses

abandoned*

and we grab as much suplies as we can

find some rifles

mines the scar f-5

yours is an m4 carbine

and its like a red dawn situation

the palitinians are coming

and we're gonna survive

and then i woke up

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it happened as is

and it made me feel all confused as to its meaning all day

but then again dreams dont need to have a meaning =P

thats is all i wanted to share

its fucking hot

ALL THE TIME

Sunshine on a Rainy Night

for all intensive purposes

its meant to be summer

or atleast

just

but

even though it is summer

the days get colder

and moreso do the nights and wet

very wet

i've grown into the habit of going out at night with my guitar

and meeting out with the same two guys

at parks

mostly the one near my house

and we'd sit around

and play

and more often then not

there isnt a cloud in the sky

The Sky at night

-A window into the vastnest that is space

where all the stars and dark form a dotted cover

one that leaves me in absolute amazement

everytime i look up

-A reminder that we are but the smallest most

insignificant piece of nothing compared to the universe

dont forget it ...

the first night that we went out there

i saw 4 shooting stars

it was the first time ever

that i can remember anyway

and it absolutely amazed me

the sky amazes me

and never ceases

to do so

today i went with just one of them

to the park on Wilson road

across the road from the mosque

it was nice

it was raining but

so we took shelter under the

play house thingy

no guitars today

we just talked

reminisced about older better days

talked about how complicated things have gotten

and just really had a proper talk about life

and what aspects we have

it was nice

and heavy at the same time

Why does life have to be like this?

is it...

because of god?

fuck no what does that lazy fuck have to do with it?

because of society?

well yes because society has set these paradigms that make it almost impossible to handle being alive anymore

because of my parents?

well they are annoying but they just want what they think is best (key words: what they think)

its

because of me

and i hate to do this

but its because of my melancholy

^ thats right im talking about Hamlet

but different its modern

its me

seeing opportunities

knowing that things need to be done

but they arent getting done

i'm not lazy

its just

that when it comes to these things

i get confused

i think too far ahead

and i think too much

and then i fail

and i loose my chance

completely

and it hurts

evey single day

it hurts

more and more

and theres nothing i can do

not yet

just have to live with it for now

its not just me

alot of people feel this way

and all i can to you is

that this is life

you cant change that

even if its shit

to some unexplainable extent

you cant change the fact that this is how life is

so people turn to drastic measures

if your thinking about it

don't

don't even

go there

life sucks fair enough

and i know its chliche

but ending it early

is not the answer

and i'll tell you why

its not because of how it'll effect those around

no fuck that who are they to get in your way?

its not because 'life is precious' fucking hell thats a load of shit

thousands of people die every day

MILLIONS of living things die every second

life is not fucking precious

and if it is WHO TO?

no

you dont want to kill yourself

because

it wont help

it wont help you

life is shit

and you cant change that

killing yourself wont change the fact that life is shit

you will be helping noone

especially not yourself

and besides

there is always time

there are always options

to find the light within the drab dark

i find that at night

things are clearer to see

in my head

i walk around during the day

and see colours

lots of colours

but colours get in the way

its a distraction

at night

i can see true form

what things really are

what is ugly

and what is not

and in my head

i can see this

and determine between the two

it helps

navigate the whirlpool ocean of my life

theres no much i need to do now that the hsc is over

so much

1-exercise

2-lose weight (as a result of exercise)

3-get a job

4-get better at guitar

5-get better at singing

6-move out

7-lose my job

8-move back in

9-return my shit to school

10-Get The Girl

and on that note

i've gtg

bye for now